Transiting into Adulthood: A LONELY JOURNEY – or really?

Yes and No.

I’ve noticed that for some people, they feel lonelier as they transition into adulthood.

Many say that Entrepreneurship is a lonely journey – is this really true?

My journey as an entrepreneur started at 20.

For 3 years, I did all I could to build multiple streams of income while I was in University. I searched for emceeing gigs, building my network marketing business, packing my schedule delivering training programs in schools.

I never felt more alone.

Behind the confident persona people said I have… I was scared that I couldn’t make all of this work, and woke up with self-doubt every single day. I saw everyone as my competition. I was taught that I needed to stand out and rise above my peers.

My closest friends in school (back then) made fun of me, said I was a shady salesperson and was upset when I couldn’t join them far clubbing and drinking nights.

I kept my struggles to myself and told myself “when I make it, I can prove them all wrong”.

The weight of my dreams lie heavily on my shoulders every single day.

Until one day, I could no longer carry the weight. The weight of this facade. My body broke down — literally, I broke out in full body eczema, and I was forced to lean on my friends and family for emotional support. It was in my lowest moments that I saw who my real friends are.

I started my coaching business at 23.

It happened by accident. I was invited to teach a networking workshop, and through a participants’ IG story of me, a business leader reached out to me and asked to be coached by me.

Not long after, the pandemic hit, and I started connecting with coaches on the internet, and that’s when I met Cheryl. This pic is us in 23 Dec 2020 – my first ever chat with Cheryl!

As someone who was conditioned since young to “put on a confident front” and not show weakness, I was cautious (especially since I admire Cheryl’s work, I felt I needed to be on par)

But Cheryl’s authenticity shone through, and I couldn’t help but just connect with her, human to human. I think we were all craving that human connection in the midst of the pandemic.

In our 3 years of friendship, Cheryl and I have brainstormed together and collaborated on projects. We’ve laughed together, celebrated life’s milestones together and most importantly, we’ve held space for each other through each other’s darkest times.

Through each other’s vulnerability, my admiration for her has turned to respect.

Admiration is when you admire someone from a distance. Respect is when you witness their strength through their tears, and deeply respect their courage and humanity.

I’ve never felt more supported in the last 3 years of entrepreneurship. It’s brought me to my closest friends, some from across the globe.

Reality is, we are all alone in our challenges. No one can FULLY understand what we go through. We go to sleep at night alone with our thoughts. That’s inevitable.

But when we choose to share our burden with people we trust, and offer to carry a little of theirs, we feel a little less lonely.

I’ve also seen the extreme importance of having friends that embrace you for who you are — the messy, evolving, imperfect humans we are.

We cannot grow when we’re pressured to be perfect. That is the truth. Choosing to grow is choosing to create an environment that is safe for your growth. An environment that loves AND challenges you to evolve into who you are becoming.

This is why I am very careful in curating not just my social circles, but also the people who apply to join the Own Your Voice Circle.

Your environment influences your energy, your thoughts, your emotions and your state of being. When you protect your state of being, you safeguard your happiness.

What do you think?

Btw, it’s Cheryl and I’s 4 year friendsary really soon on 23 Dec 2024, celebrate with us by watching a little sentimental and seriously powerful conversation on the Own Your Voice Podcast!

Join Rae for a candid conversation with one of Rae’s earliest internet friends, Cheryl Lau, who is a fellow coach and a podcaster. Cheryl opens up about her earlier experiences of loneliness and how it led her to becoming someone she no longer recognised.

She shares never heard before stories from her 5 year long-distance relationship and honest reflections from the past year of married life. From letting go of old ideals of success to grieving her old life in Hong Kong when she decided to move to Singapore and be with her now husband, Cheryl reveals many of her toughest battles she’s never shared on the internet.

Whether you’re in a career transition, figuring out your direction in life, working through differences within your relationships, or simply craving for authentic conversation and fresh perspectives, this is a cozy conversation you do not want to miss. Own Your Voice Tribe, get ready to laugh, learn, and let loose!

Watch the Podcast HERE, and catch the Episode Trailer on Youtube HERE.