I’ve a confession – and this one is something I do beat myself up for sometimes.

One of my fears is being seen as irresponsible / flaky when it comes to the content I “promise to create”.

2.5 years ago in the midst of the pandemic I declared I was going to do a regular IG live talkshow called the “Feel Good Show”. I did it 3 times… and then stopped.

1.5 years ago I started my podcast and really wanted to make it a weekly thing… it slowly became a monthly thing, and then kinda randomly posting when I record one.

8 months ago I was ultra convicted that I would launch my YouTube channel and stick to it, but that desire kind of trickled off after 3 videos.

Every time I stop doing something I said I was going to do, I feel kind of shitty about it and wonder what my audience – YOU, would think about me. *human thoughts unfold…*

AND HERE IS THE TRUTH.

The reason why I keep falling off the bandwagon is because my REASON for starting these things is not within my control.

I wanted to go viral. I wanted to gain more followers. I wanted those numbers to PROVE to me that it will amount to something.

Obviously my patience for results faded away really fast, because my patience was fuelled by an uninspiring driving force – my desire for results.

I realised how my emotions would be influenced by the numbers I get for content I put out. When I got more views, I’ll feel hopeful and happy. When I didn’t get as many views, I’d be disappointed.

Now as a coach I am obviously very aware of how unhealthy this pattern of thought is. With the pressure I put on myself to get results, I lose the inspiration to create content. I fall off the bandwagon, blame myself, and a few months later find something else to commit to, only for the same cycle to repeat itself.

A few months ago I decided to reflect and reboot.

I decided to stop creating all the content I said I was gonna create, and recommit to the content I TRULY want to create because I think it is bloody good and bloody helpful to you, my audience.

I love creating content. Truly. It makes me feel alive, and honestly, very impressed with myself. Sometimes I write content, read it again, and think – “damn rae! your thoughts are gold!”

But it is when I start pressurising myself to create VIRAL content and achieve certain set metrics that defines my success, THAT is when I lose all interest and inspiration to create content, and it feels like WORK.

As you know, I work with rising leaders (corporate professionals or entrepreneurs) to build radical self-trust with their voice, speak with authentic confidence, and magnify their impact with their unique thoughts and ideas.

As rising leaders, you WILL start building your brand and using your voice online or on stages. Know that the number of likes or how big your audience is does not determine the success of you using your voice.

Success is when you speak in alignment to your soul. Success is when you speak with such flow because you have built such a strong connection with your voice that you know how to access your vessel of inspiration anytime. Success is when you speak with so much conviction and purpose, even when you don’t get a rousing applause – because here’s why:

As leaders, when you’re sharing ideas that are ground-breaking or introspective, it takes time for people to process it and receive it. You may not get a rousing applause, but people are listening.

And at the end of the day, when you do what is fun, inspiring, and playful to you, you will wanna do MORE of it – and the more you do it, the better you get!

And so…

There is something I’m having fun with recently. I revived my YouTube Channel and Podcast. I aim to put up new twice a month, and I’ll be speaking my mind. It could be my stories, or perspectives on communication, spirituality and branding.

I’ve picked out two episodes you may dive into today 🙂

🎥 Confessions of a (Recovering) Workaholic

Join me in this intimate and cozy conversation and I recounts my journey “recovering” from being a massive workaholic.

I shares my story of how this came about and lessons I’ve learnt along the way, discussing themes around confidence, self-esteem, and how to design your life for success on your terms.

You may listen on: SPOTIFY / YOUTUBE

🎥 How to Protect Your Peace

You may listen on: SPOTIFY / YOUTUBE

Here’s my commitment to you:

ALL my content from now on will be from a place of true inspiration and service, as opposed to fishing for likes. The BEST PLACE to receive my latest insights and thoughts is on Instagram and this Email List. I share all updates there. 🙂

if you ever wanna be reminded of what joy, play, inspiration feels like… recall a memory that makes you feel inspired and fuzzy inside. I’m gonna remember this moment with alpaca forever *heart eyes*